Still Moony and Padfoot
by lovinMaya
Summary: "'What happened to us?" Sirius chuckled lowly. 'War. Life. Panic. Bad luck. And a dirty rat,' he answered bluntly." A moment between Sirius and Remus when they're alone together in Grimmauld Place. Please read, review, and enjoy!


**A/N:** This was something that just popped into my head one night. It can be Wolfstar if you want, but it wasn't for me. Read, review, and most importantly, enjoy!

~Maya

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**Still Moony and Padfoot**

After the rowdy Weasley teenagers had gone off to Hogwarts, Grimmauld Place had become eerily quiet. It was a little over three in the morning, and Remus Lupin was sitting in the study. It was his night to be on call. Staring blankly at the peeling walls, he drowned in every worry that had been plaguing him for weeks. Harry's and the others' well-being, that horrible Umbridge cow's incessant efforts at making his life harder, the next odd job he'd have to work, and a particular spunky, pink-haired woman (who just would _not_ leave his thoughts these days), were just a small handful of them.

Suddenly, he was shaken from his reverie by an odd sound. Choked sobs leaked from the door across the hall, and Remus furrowed his brow in confusion. That was Sirius's old bedroom. Slowly, Remus got to his feet and made his way across the hall. Tentatively, he knocked.

"Sirius?" he called. "You in there?"

Other than the soft weeping, there was no response.

Now slightly alarmed, Remus pushed the door open and entered. On the bed against the side wall, under heavy covers laid a shuddering figure. Sirius was sleeping. Uncertainly, Remus watched his best friend, his brother crying and whimpering in his sleep. Memories from years ago sliced through him cruelly.

"Sirius," said Remus loudly. "Get up. You're having a nightmare."

"No…no…" Sirius moaned, turning into an uncomfortable position.

"Hey," said Remus, shaking his body roughly. "Sirius. Sirius. _Padfoot_."

Moaning, Sirius's eyes fluttered open to peer at the scarred and worn man standing above him. A breathy laugh escaped Sirius's lips.

"What?" said Remus.

"You've gotten old, mate," he replied.

He couldn't help the corner of his mouth twitching as he sat next to Sirius, who was still trembling slightly.

"Are you okay?" said Remus.

Sirius sighed heavily and stared up at the ceiling. "I'll never be okay, Moony."

With a grimace, Remus nodded in understanding. He would never be okay, either. "What was the nightmare?"

Shutting his eyes, Sirius shook his head.

"You can tell me, Padfoot."

His eyes were still shut tight, and he gritted his teeth. As he gazed down at him, Remus realized how true it was that they'd become old. Bags and lines circled Sirius's eyes, a sick grayness had colored his skin, and when he finally opened his eyes, there was a dead, hollow, weariness that Remus knew was also present in his own.

"Azkaban," said Sirius hoarsely.

Feeling a sudden pang of guilt in his stomach, Remus touched Sirius's shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

Sirius shook his head. "Don't," he said sharply.

He was right. If they kept apologizing, they'd never move on.

Sighing, Remus glanced at the wall across from the bed, where a photograph hung right in the middle. There they stood young and laughing, arms around each other with James and that traitorous bastard. The memories flooded back again, like an abusive lover who had that _something_ special that made up for all the pain. "What happened to us?" he asked aloud, though it was an internal thought.

Sirius chuckled lowly. "War. Life. Panic. Bad luck. And a dirty rat," he answered bluntly. Remus couldn't help but smile.

"How can you do that?" said Remus, unable to keep a hint of awe out of his voice. Almost twenty years ago, he'd admired Sirius so very greatly for his bravery in a difficult time, and tonight he found that he still did.

"Do what?" said Sirius.

Rolling his eyes, Remus replied, "Laugh. When…when we're like this."

Sirius shrugged. "I've still got you, haven't I? We're still Moony and Padfoot."

Remus closed his eyes, fighting back the emotion that threatened to take him. He laughed softly instead, shaking his head exasperatedly. Sirius was still such a schoolboy sometimes. "You're right," he said. They shared a smile. It was the most comforted either of them had felt in years.

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**A/N: **In OotP, Sirius's and Remus's relationship after he breaks out of Azkaban is not really clear. Did they go back to being best friends as they used to be? Was the distrust from the war rooted so deep that it damaged their friendship? All I really could feel was that they're old men now-not physically but mentally, and it broke my heart. So I had to give them something that would make them look up.

~Maya


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